It Is Ok NOT To Share

This article is written by Maha Ghazale, a Play Therapist, a Circle of Security Parenting Facilitator and an Autplay Therapy provider ( specialized in Autism and Other developmental disabilities). Maha uses play as a therapeutic method to help kids with emotional and behavioral difficulties reach their inner potential. She also offers sessions for parents to help them learn new ways to connect with their children. You can follow her on Instagram at:  https://www.instagram.com/mahaghazale/

“Sharing is caring”. We generally hear ourselves say it when children fight over toys, food, or anything that sparks their attention or interest, but bear with me as I challenge this belief and say: It is ok NOT to share. 
Sharing things fall under the category of generosity- and I am all about nurturing it- However, the way we approach sharing is generally misleading. 
As a positive parenting advocate and a child therapist when a child is immersed in their play and forced to share, this child’s play is interrupted, and he or she are forced to give something up. The child is learning that sharing is annoying, and generally an unpleasant thing to do. When we impose sharing, the parents are the ones sharing, and not the child.

Imagine this scenario:
You are engaged in an art project. Suddenly someone comes up to you and asks to take the project from you and, therefore, disrupt your creativity, curiosity, and interest. How would it make you feel? 

It is our job to teach children about limits regarding other people’s space and to teach them patience when it comes to waiting for their turn. Let the child keep a toy until he is “all done.” 

Turn-taking ultimately is sharing. The key is that its child-directed turn-taking.: Instead of setting a time limit on using the toy, teach your child to use the following words: “I’ll give it to you when I am done.”
For the waiting child, this can be frustrating triggering few tears, or meltdowns- Do not let this discourage you, instead: 

Acknowledge: “I know you wanted this toy now.”

Communicate: 

• “Oh, I know it’s hard to wait.”
• “I understand/feel your frustration, or
• “You can be mad, but I can’t let you take it until X is all done.”

– Target: “You can choose another toy until X is done playing.”

It is our job to help children learn how to control behavior and feel safe to express intense feelings as we direct them towards ways to work through those emotions. 

Like any skill, the more practice the child gets, the more they will be able to master impulse control.

How To Involve Dads More In Parenting?

By Rania Hussant https://thehelicoptermommy.wordpress.com/

@thehelicoptermommy

In certain parts of the world it is still challenging to encourage and have Dads be more involved in parenting, yet the society these days is working hard towards attaining that goal. Below are a few steps that might help achieve it:

1. The Parents

Mom and dad should have a good relationship. Children need their parents to have a stable and close relationship more than anything. This stability sets the solid foundation to a successful parenting.

2. Ask for Help

Moms please ask your husbands for help. They need guidance and they heavily rely on you to assist them. After all, it is always better when the work is done side by side. Don’t wait for him to ask you as he would not know how tired and frustrated you feel.

3. Fun Activities

Every now and then it is essential that dads go out with the children – on their own – and enjoy some fun activities together. This helps in having the children see their dads in a new perspective which also helps in strengthening the bond between them.

4. Boring Routine

Divide the routine and boring duties, like showering and getting ready to school, where each parent has equal responsibilities. By doing so, both parents are saved from any unnecessary stress.

5. Communication

Discuss and communicate often. Once you agree on a variety of parenting methods, it becomes easier to deal with certain unexpected issues.

6. Gratitude

Show your gratitude for the partnership you have. Humans love to be praised and cared for. A simple thank you makes wonders.

7. One Message from Both

Moms and dads alike should send one message to their children and not opposing ones. Children are very smart and would continue to manipulate one parent against the other in order to get what they want! Once they realise that both parents have the same response, it is more likely they accept the decision taken.

8. Support

Be honest about how you feel towards the whole parenting procedure. It is very normal to have fears and worries. Once you talk about it with your partners, you will get the support you need. Who else would actually understand the situation more than your mate?

Parenting is one of the most beautiful yet challenging experience. It brings so many emotions that are bombarding and overwhelming along its bumpy road. The mere fact that we have our children only for a few years would motivate us to make the best out of it. That is why, when we work together, parenting becomes somehow easier.

By Rania Hussant https://thehelicoptermommy.wordpress.com/

Stop Crying mum, It’s just Kindergarten!

“Stop Crying Mum, it’s just Kindergarten!” 😭
This has been the most emotional month of my life! But I keep reminding myself that I need to pull myself together! I know for sure I will be teary, but now is not the time to show just how sad I am about my little one heading to big kid school.
A tip I read was:

✅Get them excited about all of the new friends they are going to make and the fun they’ll have on the playground.
✅ You might want to cry when you drop them off and go for it – once they’ve walked into their classroom and can’t see you. Until that moment, make sure you have a big smiley face on and reassure them that you’ll be back – like you always are.
How was your little one’s first day of school?